I ended my most recent post with a reference to my toenail and I would like for you all to join me in grieving the loss of the beloved 2nd toe toenail on my left foot.
For those who care and those who will continue reading despite their indifference, this is how it happened: It was the day after Thanksgiving around 5am. The pooch needed to go outside and, like a dutiful doggie mommy, I got up to let her out. My sister and her dog were spending the night in the other upstairs bedroom so I didn't turn on the stairwell light for fear of waking her and the dog. I made it down the stairs without incident. I then shuffled slowly through the living room, dodging the Christmas tree, a coffee table and two recliners. Whew! We made it to the back door! Out goes the pooch. And I flipped the switch on the porch light. That was mistake #1. While she was doing her business, I decided to take care of some business of my own. What? I just woke up!
Mistake # 2, (don't worry, I'll come back to mistake #1) I turned on the light in the restroom. Bad idea. I realized my mistake immediately upon exiting the brilliantly lit restroom. Dang, now I can't see a thing in the dark house. Ok, don't panic. I have time to let my eyes adjust before running the gauntlet again, the dog is still sniffing around the back yard. Unfortunately, I had already made mistake #1. I stood with my nose practically pressed to the glass in the door with the porch light glaring above. The dog concluded her business and I let her in and turned off the light. We were plunged into darkness the likes of which mankind has never experienced. Dang! I can't see anything...again! I am too tired for this! I just want to go back to bed!!!!! Forget letting my eyes adjust, we can handle this. I just walked through there not five minutes ago, how bad could it be?
I inched along past the recliner bottle neck, the dog toy strewn rug, coffee table, Chirstmas tree. We're almost home! Thwack. Stifled screeching, searing pain, something feels very wrong. Doubled over in pain made it a short reach to touch the toes. Still pitch dark. Hmmm, they feel wet...could be blood...nah can't be. Hobble up the stairs. Decide to check the toes because seriously something feels really wrong. TOENAIL NOT ATTACHED!!!
Now, weeks later, the toenail long gone, I lament it's loss. I miss you, toenail. Your fellow fussily painted toenails miss you too. Painting the skin just isn't the same. :(
