I'm typing this with my left hand...

...Because I just burned the poo out of the 2nd and 3rd favorite fingers on my right hand.  Stop thinking about which is the 1st favorite!  You may, however, think about how a person as sensible as yours truly could possibly burn the poo out of two perfectly good fingers.  Well, I'll tell you.

It all started with my dear friend going off sugar and sugar subs.  She lauded the merits of such deprivation and that got me thinking, "I bet I could do that."  She feels wonderful, I want to feel wonderful.  Yes!  I'm doing it!  It has now been 20 days since I gave up sugar and sweeteners.  Impossible, you say?  Nay!  Well, I will confess to a few instances of, "Oh crap, this tastes awesome.  It must have sugar in it."  And two intentional cheats for a B-12 supplement.

What does this sugar business have to do with burning my hand?  Here's the thing.  I am planning to jump off the band wagon in a BIG way.   I will be hiking to the bottom of the Grand Canyon, back out again, and I ain't worryin' about sugar.  Part of the jump plan involves preparing treats to take along for the hike.

So, I saw this recipe on Pinterest.  Yep, I do that.  The recipe was a very appealing recipe for brittle that contains lots of nuts, seeds, and dried fruit.  I diligently gathered up all the ingredients and got an honest to goodness candy thermometer.  I think you see where this is going.  To make brittle, one must heat a sugar and water mixture to 302 degrees F.  That happens to be the temperature at which sugar morphs into lava.  Now, being a geologist, I know a little about lava.  The main thing is you don't want it on you, cause that stuff is hot.  I don't really have a reference for the specific behavior of lava when it makes contact with skin, but I now know what sugar lava does.  It sticks.  Oh yes, neighbors.  There is a horror lurking in candy recipes It's called sticky sugar lava that is heated to the temperature of the sun.  Candy makers force sugar into this transformation all the time.  They could take over the world with this stuff.  I would do whatever they want as long as they don't start throwing sugar lava on me.

Anyway, as I hastily tried to get the brittle mixture out of the pan and onto my properly greased cookie sheet, some of the sugar lava slopped onto my hand.  It wasn't my best moment. I said some things that I won't repeat here, and practically crawled inside the sink with the cold water running.

Some very interesting blisters are emerging on my pointer finger. You can see the sugar's travel trajectory across my thumb just below the nail and onto my pointer finger with a flourish.

At least the brittle looks good!  Can't wait for the Grand Canyon to try it :)

When animals make me squeal like a 5 year old in front of strangers...

Yesterday, I took my dog, PS, for a hike.  As usual, she was off leash in blatant disregard for the rules, but I digress.  PS enjoys running ahead of me, turning around and laying on the "you're too slow" guilt or attempting to catch a squirrel unawares. She never catches anything, with the exception of cactus needles which I then painstakingly remove over the next few days to her great annoyance.

As I watched PS in her primal wilderness mode, the thought of rattlesnakes crossed my mind.  I have never seen one on this particular trail, but they must be here.  The thought came and went, as thoughts often do and we went about the business of communing with nature.  Once we reached the predetermined turn around spot, we...well...turned around and headed back to the trail head.

We hadn't gone a half mile before I saw and heard people ahead.  I hooked the leash on PS's collar and surveyed the situation.  There was a man and woman on the trail ahead of us.  The woman was yelling at their little dog to STAY!  She began to creep around off the trail and, with a huge sigh of relief, leashed her dog.  Assuming the little dog was some kind of killing machine, I cautiously moved forward with PS in tow.  I kept waiting for the woman to confirm that her little dog did in fact kill and possibly eat hikers, but she looked up at us and said, "There's a rattlesnake on the trail."

Oh. A rattlesnake.  Well why all the fuss.  By this time I can hear the little darling hissing and rattling, as rattlesnakes are known to do. The snake is now between the man and woman.  She states that they are from Chicago and have NEVER seen a rattlesnake in their lives.  The man is attempting to go off trail and avoid the snake while asking how far they can strike.  Don't look at me dude, I don't intend to provoke an attack.  He safely makes it past the snake and we let the dogs meet. There was no killing done by either dog and so the meeting can be called a success.

Now being the very cool Western US resident that I am, PS and I proceed toward the snake.  There is no more hissing or rattling at this point so everything is cool.  The woman asked if I would like them to watch the snake while I go off trail around it.  I assured her that I was cool like the other side of the pillow and would not need their assistance.  Snakes are no big deal after all.  Everything will be just fine.

And it was...until we were directly in front of the very grumpy snake.  At the very moment that he began to hiss and rattle, I let out a SQUEAL and pranced away.  Yes, squeal and prance.  And that my friends is how to deal with a rattler on the trail.

Bless that couple for not laughing at me, but thank goodness I can laugh at myself. :)

Rattler!

First strike target :(